Elevator Pitch No. 2
My feedback from my last elevator pitch was mostly positive. Everyone said that I had concise word choice and I explained things clearly. The negative feedback was that I did not have a hook to catch my audience's attention, and that I moved my hands too much. I can agree to this. I know my tendency to be less outspoken and to get over-excited with my hands. For this speech, I added a hook and moved my hands less
Hey Czar,
ReplyDeleteI think you did a great job! I Think the hand movement was definitely improved this go around. I also think the tag line you came up with is really cute! "Be on time, for a dime" is catchy and actually really conveys the two strong points of your business. Overall, I don't really have any negative comments. Maybe just that I can tell when you're looking at the camera v. looking at your script. It looks a little wonky, but it's a pretty minor issue in this video. Great job!
Hey Czar! I think this was a really well thought out elevator pitch! I knew what your product was and you answered my most concerning questions about safety and price. One thing you did really well was having a good tone in your voice, most people when doing these videos have a tired or unenthusiastic tone to their voice, but yours was compelling and made me more interested in your words. One thing I noticed was that you were reading a script at a lot of points. As we progress further and do our final pitch, try memorizing your script, as people enjoy speakers who make eye contact with their audience. Last thing is add an outro! I was left hanging after your talk on safety and it just ended, make a closing like you made a slogan for the beginning, just to wrap up your pitch. Overall really good job!
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